Team America Has Once Again Pissed Off the Entire World

March 21, 2022 Post a Comment

Following the moving-picture show'south epic opening title worthy of the biggest Jerry Bruckheimer production, we fade in on... a crudely fatigued Parisian groundwork and even cruder looking marionette speaking fake French in and even cruder fake emphasis while stereotypical French music plays under it. And then, once you're nice and fooled (it'southward rumored that, at an executives' screening, one Paramount suit yelled "Oh my god, they fucked united states!!"), it pans out to reveal a much more elaborate, professional-looking set with much better marionettes.
The oh, so epic pep-talk in the bar. 'nuff said.
"Gary, you're the just one with the pow—" "I DONT Desire THE FUCKING Ability!"
"Don't worry! Everything is 'bon'! We've stopped the terrorists!" (French citizens look effectually at the burning remains of their urban center)
- The devastation of Paris itself deserves elaboration. Up until a certain bespeak, Team America was really doing a pretty expert chore disposing of the terrorists, with the collateral damage beingness borderline negligible. Then when they get to the guy with the bomb, Joe pulls out a rocket launcher, and the rest is history.
When everyone is trying to disguise Gary equally an Arab terrorist, they reach this by just gluing a whole bunch of hair to his face.
- Even funnier, as prior to it, at that place's an entire sequence of Gary getting operated on and undergoing a rather complicated facial surgery, which makes the end effect even more funnier.
Gary'south unabridged oral communication in the end, about "Dicks, Pussies, and Assholes..."
- Too doubles as a Moment of Awesome.
"Your acting skills are diminishing with historic period, Ms. Sarandon."
- (Death Glare) "...YOU SHALL DIE A PEASANT'S Death!"
- Sarandon'due south Disney Villain Death, where she splats on the basis like a water balloon.
Puppet sex activity. That is all.
The scene right before the puppet sexual activity, when Lisa'southward attracted to Gary just nevertheless not over losing her fiance, who was fatally wounded in a previous mission and died in her artillery.
Lisa: God, I'm and then confused. It'due south also soon to be having feelings for you lot.
Gary: Possibly feelings are feelings because we can't control them.
Lisa: But I have to control them, because I can't become through losing somebody once again. It'southward too painful.
Gary: So, and then what? Yous're but going to shut down? I really like you.At that place's no chance we can ever be together?
Lisa: But if you could promise me yous'll never die.
Gary: You lot know I can't promise that.
Lisa: If you did that, I would make love to y'all right at present.
Gary: I hope I will never die.
In ane blink-and-you'll-miss-it moment during the dogfight between Team America and Korean aircraft, 1 of the shots of Spottswoode shows him strafing on his chair upside-downwardly.
"I'm gonna cut off your fucking balls and shove them up your ass and then that next time you shit, y'all'll shit on your balls!
Kim Jong-Il dumping Hans Blix into the shark tank: "At that place you get, Hans Brix! How do you lot like that, y'all fucking cocksucker!? Exercise you accept any idea how fucking busy I am, Hans Brix?! Well fuck you! You desire an inspection? Well inspect that you butt fucking piece of shit!". Right before that, there was Hans' "threat" to Kim Jong-Il.
Hans: I'm sorry, but the Un must be business firm with you. Permit me see your whole palace, or else!
Kim: Or erse what?
Hans: Or else we will be very, very angry with you — and we will write y'all a letter of the alphabet, telling you how angry we are.
The Vomit scene. The accompanying music but makes information technology meliorate.
Gary hopping aboard the flying limo for the start fourth dimension:
Gary: Okay, a limousine that can fly. Now I have seen everything.
Spottswoode: Really? Have you lot ever seen a man eat his own caput?
Gary: No.
Spottswoode: So, then you oasis't run across everything!
Special mention for the "Giant panthers" which are actually two normal sized, playful house cats. Not even angry cats, just 2 normal black cats, padding near, made to look huge because the puppets are so small. Beats the Giant Killer Bunny Rabbits from Night of the Lepus for the coveted "Least threatening behemothic monster animal" honour.
"I'yard then ronery" is both funny and sad at the same fourth dimension
Spottswoode giving Gary a weapon to kill himself in example of capture... which turns out to be a hammer. A small one.
The kung fu scene involving Chris and a terrorist.
- Every single one of the "fight scenes" qualify, since it literally just consists of the two puppets flailing their arms at one some other while the intense soundtrack booms in the background.
MAATTT DAAAAAMONNN!!!
"Squad America has once more pissed off the entire globe subsequently blowing upwards half of Cairo."
I.N.T.E.L.Fifty.I.M.Due east.N.C.E: "Our base was attacked past a giant socialist weasel."
- The fact that the words 'giant socialist weasel' above actually link to that particular page is a Crowning Moment Of Funny for this page in general, I think.
And this
Spotswood: There's no-one else to cease Kim Jong-Il!
Gary: Let me become.
Spotswood: You? You're a barrel-fucking quitter!
While the scene where The Squad gets ambushed by North Koreans and terrorists from Durka-Durkastan is non exactly funny, this particular line had this troper chuckling: "Nosotros accept no I.N.T.E.L.L.I.Thou.E.N.C.East.! Echo, we take no I.N.T.E.L.L.I.Chiliad.E.N.C.E.!"
The montage vocal.
Tim Robbins' caption equally to why Squad America and "the corporations" are bad.
Childish, merely: "In an ideal futurity, nosotros solve problems and dispose of dangerous people with words, not violence. That is the F.A.G. way! [...] They'll expect back and say, 'Wow, way to go FAG. You really fabricated the world a improve identify, didn't you FAG?'"
"Derka Derka, Mohammed Jihad." AKA the entire Arabic linguistic communication.
Kim Jong-il getting fed upwards with his allies. "Okay, who brew upward Panama Canal!?" [...] Goddamn it, how many times do I have to terr y'all? Y'all don't use the WMDs untir you see the signar. I take worked ten years on this pran. It is a very precise and a compricated pran. I am sick of y'all terrorists fucking it up. At present take the weapons where I tord you lot and wait for the fucking signar this fourth dimension! Farewell!".
"9/11 times a hundred? Oh my god, that would be..."
- "Right. 91,100".
Kim Jong-il killing his interpreter.
Kim Jong-il's subversion of Genre Savvy when he's nigh to prepare off the nukes.
Kim Jong Il: You encounter, no Prince Charming rode in on a white stallion to relieve the day. This is the existent world. I'g afraid your globe is over! ...in v minutes. Yes THE TICKING CROCK!
This substitution betwixt Gary and two terrorists while they're being chased by Joe and Chris, (who don't know Gary is non a terrorist), before long after their grill-mounted machine guns killed one of the other terrorists.
- Then there'southward the office Team America Hummer falls for the "pull-over" trick, and Gary'southward Oh, Crap! reaction when the terrorists accuse their explosive-laden jeep at them. Cue two more hilarious (and awesome) moments: first, Lisa uses her bicycle to spring over the terrorist jeep, and yank Gary out of information technology. And so, Chris, giving the immortal line "SURPRISE, COCKFAGS!!!", flips down the hood of the Squad America Hummer, and turns information technology into a ramp, causing the terrorists to fly "caput-showtime" into the Sphinx, complete with, you guessed it, Stuff Blowing Upwards.
- Merely before that, Gary trying to inform the squad that he'southward in the jeep.
  Gary: It's me! It'southward me!
  Joe: Looks like he's saying, "Kiss me! Osculation me!"
  Chris: Smart-ass motherfucker! (launches missile)
Gary'due south initial Refusal of the Call.
Spottswoode: We will disguise yous every bit a terrorist and have yous deep into the Center East. If your acting is successful, you'll be able to get us all the information we need to end this whole thing from happening. Of course, if yous're non interested, there's the door.
Gary: All right, thank you. (walks out the door)
Spottswoode: (vanquish) Huh.
When Gary is having a Heroic BSoD after hearing about the devastation of the Panama Culvert, the utterly serious mood is dashed with this priceless commutation:
Gary: You come across?! All I do is hurt people!
Lisa: Gary, yous didn't impale your brother! Those gorillas did!
- And later at the bar, when he'southward drinking and depressed.
  Random Patron: Hey, aren't you that thespian in that broadway show? Oh, yes, it is you! Sing that role where everybody gets AIDS!
  Gary: [very subdued] I don't deed anymore. I gave that upwards.
  Random Patron: Oh, come up on, man. Simply a scene.
  Gary: [snaps] I SAID Get Abroad FROM ME!
  Random Patron: [walks away]
"Maybe feelings are feelings because we can't control them." Information technology'due south like Insane Troll Logic had a baby with tautology and let the infant fume valium until information technology came up with the most ridiculous thing anyone has always said.
"There's no 'I' in 'Team America'!"
Yes, in that location is.
When Mount Rushmore is on TV:
Sarah: Hey, that's here! (Joe stares at her in disbelief that she'd exist so dense)
- Slightly justified in that this is supposed to be their "hole-and-corner" base.
Sean Penn trying to rally anti-Squad America support.
After the Panama Canal has been blown upwards:
Spottswoode: It appears at present that I.N.T.E.L.L.I.M.E.Northward.C.E was incorrect about the Chechnyans existence in accuse. That was bad I.Due north.T.E.L.L.I.G.E.N.C.Due east. Very bad I.North.T.E.50.L.I.M.E.Due north.C.East.
I.N.T.E.L.Fifty.I.K.Due east.N.C.E.: I'yard distressing.
The "Everyone has AIDS" song from Gary's Broadway performance.
During the Panama Culvert bombing scene, a tidal wave sweeps abroad everything in its path. Ane inhabitant shouts "No! No me gusta!" as he is swept abroad.
The entire "Pearl Harbor Sucks" vocal.
- But special mention goes to a scene during the montage, where the camera zooms in on Gary, but to push button him out of the shot.
"God dammit, open your fucking ears!"
Many of the scenes involving Joe. He's an all-American quarterback, with a very manly appearance...then, when he opens his oral fissure, out comes a high-pitched, un-masculine voice.
Some of the deleted scenes are quite funny.
- Ben Affleck spews F.A.G. propaganda, while beingness represented by a sock puppet, non even an actual marionette.
- Around the time of Gary's 10-Minute Retirement, Joe complains about Chris smoking, proverb that it's unhealthy. Chris fires back that it tin can "relieve your life"... and come up the fight with Creator/TimRobbins, he's right.
- Spottswoode declares that he'll "never be racist again"... later on lamenting that his belief that "the ultimate terrorist had to be Middle Eastern" blinded him to the fact that a "gook" like Kim Jong-Il was the mastermind behind the terrorists.
- Spottswoode makes a final-ditch endeavour to get Gary to stay, only for Gary to say that everyone hates them now. Spottswoode says that everyone hated Winnie The Pooh. After a beat, a dumbfounded Gary says, "No, they didn't!", whereupon Spottswoode says he blames Pooh for killing JFK.